Friday, October 5, 2012

Twilight or Harry Potter?


Question


Twilight or Harry Potter?
For me, definitely Harry Potter.


Answer


Harry Potterbrbrtwilight sucksbrbrI SO dont get the obsession. I thought it was very meh, starting with the main character, Bella otherwise known as the Queen of Meh. brbrUgh. She was so boring and stilted and dead inside. I kind of wanted to slap her. My theory is that Bella actually has Aspergers Syndrome and also a really bad inner ear infection that destroyed her sense of balance. Because, come on. She cant consistently WALK without falling? She should go see a specialist or something, right? Why didnt she do that? Why didnt her parents have her checked out?brbrShe was very annoying and I didnt get the whole martyr thing. Shes on a date with a guy who has admitted that he isnt all that sure whether or not hes going to SLAUGHTER her as the capper to their date, and she thinks its exciting and romantic? The girl has some serious issues. brbrI thought she was dull. I didnt get why Edward would be interested in her in the least. I mean, other than his preference for her biological fluids. Which seems kind of a shaky basis for a romance. Plus, she kept reminding us how he was all cold and dead. Gross.brbrAnd then there was Edward himself. Pompous, stilted, fatally unhip Edward. I get that the author was going for a language vibe, but come on. He hasnt been in a COMA for the last hundred years, hes been hanging out in high school. I dont know if its a good thing when the romantic lead reminds you of Kelsey Grammar. Or rather, would remind you of Kelsey Grammar if Bella werent constantly reminding us about his topaz eyes and his muscled chest. Did you know he had topaz eyes and a muscled chest? Because he did have topaz eyes and a muscled chest. Did you pick up on that? It was subtle, you might not have caught it. brbrI hated how he told her what to do all the time. He was so controlling and kind of ambivalent about whether or not he was going to eat her. I was like, dude, take a stand. Just go ahead and eat her, put us all out of our misery. But he didnt. Maybe thats book three, I dont know. brbrThere was no buildup to their romance. One day he hated her because he was trying not to eat her, and the next day they were both in TRUE TRUE LOVE with extra stalking. I thought the whole watching outside her window thing was incredibly creepy. If he was human, Bella would be filing restraining orders all over the place. brbrI think the main thing that annoys me is this I dont like it when the heroine is stupid. And Bella is. If I knew my boyfriend was a serial killer, and he invited me to come over and look at his knife collection, and I said yes, would that be amazingly romantic? Or just kind of stupid? But Bella repeatedly says she doesnt care if he kills her, because she loves him. Wuh?? Wuh in the wuh wuh? brbrI also didnt understand why her dad wasnt raising holy hell about letting her see Edward at the end. If my daughter freaked out after a fight with her creepy boyfriend, took off, disappeared and then reappeared with said creepy boyfriend in Phoenix, where she just happened to fall through a window and end up in the hospital I dont think I would be encouraging my daughter to continue to date him. You know? Is it just me? Is her Dad supposed to be delayed?brbrJessica thought it got better near the end, but I didnt. It was like Stephanie Meyer got tired of writing about their romance and just threw in a random evil vampire. Random characters who hop in late in the novel not so scary. I thought it would have been more scary if they would have pulled in the space vampire from Buck Rogers. Because that episode gave me nightmares for YEARS.brbrI get it, some people like the whole bad guy thing, the whole quotmy love makes you dangerousquot vibe. I guess I can sort of see it. I mean picture it, if you were married to someone completely sexless, like Mitt Romney or something, fantasizing about dangerousromanticvampires might be just the ticket. But for ordinary women? What is the appeal? brbrClearly, there IS appeal in the whole dangerous vampireromanticfiction genre. I just dont understand it. Other than Buffy and Angel. THAT I get. But theyre completely the exception. I think it helps that he doesnt want to eat her.



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